That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
