South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
