I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
