Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
