Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
