Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
