bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
