Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
