we have officially mastered the walk of shame
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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