Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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