dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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