As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
