I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
