just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
