my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
