But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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