yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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