Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
