evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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