My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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