Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
