dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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