They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
