TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
