he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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