then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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