Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
