If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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