Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
