Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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