We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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