Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
