If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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