So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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