Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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