Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
