Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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