As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
