when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
