How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize