you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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