How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
