I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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