I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
