Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
