i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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