We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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