I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
