It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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