thus making me awesome and them whores
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
